I recently wrote an article on commitment, and asked readers to look deeply at what they were really committed to – were they committed to increasing the revenue in their business, spending less time at work, improving productivity or were they committed to being righteous in their particular situation, looking on and blaming others for what they were not doing without looking at themselves to see what they could have been doing differently to get different results. Last night, I became present to my own shortcomings in this area.

I have begun the process of branding myself with the objective of making a difference in people’s lives. The process is centred around the question “Are you the ONE?”.  It speaks to persons in every aspect of our society- lawyers, surgeons, street  vendors, business owners, housekeepers, members of parliament etc .it focuses on people choosing to be the ONE and make difference, wherever they are, whoever they are with, whatever they are doing. The process also contains opportunities for empowering persons to be the ONE. The vision is that if everyone took responsibility for being the ONE, looked at accepting that their experiences were just a reflection of the truth within them, then the crime rate would reduce, our debt ratio would reduce, our people would begin to produce more, the energy of the country would be vibrant, people would be joyous, anyone could walk anywhere and feel safe and I could go on.

Last night, I promised to share my commitment to making a difference with others and invite them to be the ONE. After choosing certain people, it occurred to me that I was approaching them with a judgement I had of them. My thoughts of one person in particular was, “he cannot change, he is set in his ways, it would make no sense to approach him”. I could choose another person to share with and forget about him but I chose to look at it differently. I chose to change the way I perceived this individual.  I began to look at what I could acknowledge this person for. At first nothing came, it was only until I gave up my judgement that a flood of things to acknowledge him came and I wrote them down. Then I accepted him for who he is and who he is not and I was able to call him.

I went to the conversation with no “agenda” and during the conversation, I practised empathy “being this person” – which doesn’t mean I agreed with all he said but I was able to “be in his world”. At that point, a profound thing happened – I was able for the first time to hear something in his conversation, I had never heard before which allowed me to appreciate him for who he is and what he contributes. I came out of the conversation with more ideas that could make a difference to my “Are you the ONE?”  commitment than before.

Today I invite you to remove judgements from your past experiences before approaching any conversation. Ask yourself “What results am I committed to having?”. Whatever you focus your attention on, consider you will get the result of your focus. As George Bernard Shaw said “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. “

So look at your “real” focus before you enter any conversation, consider, you may not be able to see it immediately. Strangely, a good test to assist you in identifying what you are really committed to in the moment is to own for yourselves what you see in others. So, if you’re seeing someone as not taking responsibility in a particular situation, look carefully and keep looking until you find – where in your life are you not taking responsibility. I know this may occur as profound reasoning but the truth is we cannot see ourselves so try it! It just might work better than you thought and make life a whole lot easier.

Dawn Grant is a personal coach, facilitator and director of Effective Leadership Management. You can contact her at dawnandrene@cwjamaica.com